Stress and the Pressure Performance Curve. Credit: the Delphis Learning company
Imposter Syndrome is not inherently a bad feeling, just as stress is not inherently a bad feeling. There is an optimal amount of pressure to draw out optimal performance. Stress and imposter syndrome are arguably connected in some way by anxiety. Stress, while some perceive as a negative emotion, has utility. Evolution necessitates hypervigilance in dangerous scenarios. While we may not be escaping tigers anymore, we still need vigilance and focus to perform critical tasks in our professional or personal lives.
Some imposter syndrome, despite how negative it feels, could be justified, just like stress. Imposter syndrome is the manifestation of anxiety or not belonging commonly found in a professional space. I want to talk about the sources and reactions of imposter syndrome to break down the positive and negative aspects of imposter syndrome informed by my own experiences.
I know many academics who feel like imposters, including myself and absolute rockstar researchers. “Who doesn’t have imposter syndrome? Who has the gall, the confidence to not question themselves in this environment?” The more I talk with other academics and reveal that I feel like an imposter, the more I’m returned with the same feeling from colleagues. The commonality of this reciprocated feeling no longer makes me feel vulnerable when I say I feel imposter syndrome anymore. This comfort in being an imposter came with time, with exposure, so hopefully, I can quell your concern about feeling like an imposter too.
Sources
My rashly scribbled notes while coping with a bout of imposter syndrome mid 2021
Let’s start from the more typical perspective that all imposter syndrome is bad. That is certainly the case for imposter syndrome that comes from unjustified external or internal perception of lack of worth, lack of belonging, lack of knowledge or skill. It’s absolutely unacceptable if others belittle your worth or you degrade your own worth. Given the typical masochism seen in academics, your perception of self-worth or knowledge is likely underestimated unless you get frequent feedback from someone who genuinely cares about you and knows your field. You may incur unjustified guilt for not working as hard as your colleagues for which I hope you question why you’re comparing yourself to others.
It’s also unacceptable for you to be professionally excluded or isolated within your academic community, like your department or conferences. This could be the case for people with identities that do not adhere to the dominant identities of the field, who face targeted discrimination or an ambient culture that is exclusive. That’s such a shame because your identity could lead to a diverse perspective or radical ideas, which are hard to accept but could be the disruptive change necessary to revolutionize a field! A double-edged sword.
A symptom of imposter syndrome you could be observing is that you’re not achieving high expectations or you feel you don’t know supporting knowledge. There can be justified and unjustified sources of imposter syndrome in these symptoms, which are harder to detangle. It could be that you feeling like you’re not achieving high expectations could come from unrealistic expectations, which are not your fault, or the fact you’re not working hard enough, which is your fault and is something you can fix! You not knowing the supporting knowledge could be that you are not well read (yet!) or are new to the field, or the field is changing quickly. In the case of not working hard enough, are you meeting the expectations of your employer whether that be measured by time contribution or completion of tasks? If you’re your own boss, then do you have explicit expectations for yourself as to how hard you work? For example, my expectation for myself is to work 9 hours a day averaged out over time (more during deadlines and less during lulls). I know very few neurotic slackers so it’s more likely that you’re not well read / skilled enough yet in your desired field and that’s OK for now. You need to be honest with yourself about the source of your imposter syndrome, hold yourself accountable, and then act on your findings.
Reactions
These sources of imposter syndrome, justified or unjustified, can lead to unhealthy reactions, like paralysis, mental health issues, or exiting the academy. Academic paralysis includes a lack of career productivity, like worrying about the perception of your research more than the act of doing research. A moderate but sincerely detrimental result of imposter syndrome is self-selection in the application of opportunities. Your under-evaluation and subsequent decision to not apply only hurts you and we know from the HP management study that “men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them.” The most detrimental reaction is to take yourself out of the academy, to leave the field. Sometimes, this reaction is justified for the sake of mental health but I hope by catching symptoms of imposter syndrome early, we can prevent unhealthy manifestations of imposter syndrome before it takes hold.
Healthy reactions come by accurately identifying the source of imposter syndrome and addressing the root cause. If the root cause is that you’re not achieving expectations, pursue an honest evaluation from someone in that field who cares about you, usually a mentor. That mentor will affirm either you are definitely setting the expectations too high and you need to accept yourself, or that expectations are reasonable and you just have to keep at it, bucko. You can do it! If the question is not about expectations but about you feeling insecure about your base knowledge or skills, your feelings may energize you to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Apply yourself and arm yourself with information/skills and confidence.
In summary, I love an infographic where you could never read the article and still get the message:
Summary of my thoughts going from sources to intermediate assessments to intermediate actions to final reactions of imposter syndrome
Edit: 6/19/2023
By trying to solve our own imposter syndrome, we are complicit with propagating that imposter syndrome is an acceptable feeling. Below is an awesome speech by Reshma Saujani that questions the entire premise of imposter syndrome that I think you should watch.